I am mourning. I finally let go of love, dreams, excitement.
All is left is a hole. Lightness feels
heavy. Silence sounds loud. Life is dead. Tears do not exist in my world. Happy
or sad ones. All I pray is to feel again. I pray God exists. Failure seems
comic instead of tragic since all is futile. I need fibrillation but I guess
I need a heart for that. Flashes of my past life appear and go. My whole life
comes back to me. I guess I must be dying. I do not feel pain. Just shortness
of breath. Surrender is my anesthetic .
Truth is a lye and vice versa. Floating above I become air. I can see
people around. Some laugh some yell. I do not understand why. I am spreading around, being wasted. Invisible.
Impossible. Irreversible. Dry.
I loved a shadow. The ghost of the soul that should have
been alive. A soul that never grew up. I
loved the light that should have been your being.
Breath…breath…breathing….. Inspire some life into my lungs.
And smile….Really smile….There is life after pain.
