duminică, 10 noiembrie 2013

love is a four letter crime...

I stay. I know I shouldn't. I still pray even though it is useless and my faith has left me such a  long time ago. I put my right hand on your bear heart and I don't feel the heartbeat. I am thinking you are dead. But then I noticed that the ghost is in fact me. Funny...I reach desperately to have a strong grip on your heart but all I feel is mine aching. My hands are dust and they keep on splashing on your indifferent body. I am air but not for your lungs anymore. I am thoughts but not inside your mind. The only think that makes me think I might be still alive is the pain...this suffocating pain...terrible...unbearable...but still so comfortable as it smells like you.

I am eager to embrace resting in peace...

joi, 7 noiembrie 2013

Vocile din capul meu imi spun ca nu-s nebuna!


Am inchis ochii pentru a vedea in mine. Am descoperit galerii infricosatoare si magice deopotriva.

Noi, oamenii, traim in lumi fantastice, misterioase numite mintile noastre...Gandurile noastre plutesc in eterul dens din capul nostru. Gandurile au lumea lor, familiile lor, vietile lor, se inmultesc unele cu altele...si dau nastere monstrilor care ne bantuie...

Am invatat an de an, saptamana de saptamana, zi de zi, ceas de ceas si cu fiecare secunda in plus pe masura ce ma scurg inapoi in univers sa imi iubesc monstrii. Am invatat ca si gandurile, ca noi, nu aleg sa se nasca si e nedrept sa le uram doar pentru ca nu le intelegem...

Spunem lucruri indecente, cum ca ne cunoastem unii pe altii doar pentru ca ne stim de mult. Putini avem insa onoarea si curajul de a le face cunostinta monstrilor nostri cu monstruletii din capul celuilalt si sa ii lasam sa faca mai bine pui intre ei.

Cred cu putere că doar dragostea ne salvează... si pe noi, si pe demonii nostrii. Dragostea de orice fel, miros, culoare, forma...

Psychosis

When life will lack meaning again I will energize myself with the memory of you. Those days I will let myself fall deeply into my favorite psychotic episode. I will feel the smell of fresh grounded coffee and taste your awakening kiss on my lips. The crispy fresh cold air filling the room will give me the chills that your body used to give me when enrapturing mine.

The moments when I will be cold again without you, I will take out the jar where I captured some of our moments. I used to store them for the long winter days. I will open the lid and let the butterflies fill the room. I will close my eyes and let those fabulous creatures bring you back again. When they will sit on my closed eyelids I will remember how you used to kiss them. The flapping of their wings will bring back your whispers, smoothly piercing my eardrum. When they will sit on my naked body I will re-live the hot & cold chills your fingers used to give me.

I'll pretend the dream is real and I will remember how you always used to give me exactly what I used to crave for.